i just realized that the voice in my head when i read things isn’t my own voice omg whose is it
sexual orientation: angry
imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom
"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"
christmas eve what about christmas adam
happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists
Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.
Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam
petition to make young adult authors stop writing about girls whose lives change when they meet a boy
When she saw him time slowed to a stop. He was so perfect and she knew her life would never be the same because she had finally found him. The one. The first boy she would ever kill.
Joseph Stalin raises his head, a sly twinkle in his eye as he meets the bald man’s suggestive gaze. “Walter…” He purrs, dragging his tongue along the underside of his mustache in anticipation. “I see you’ve finally arrived.”
"Oh, Walter," The man chuckled, mustache quivering in delight. "I am the police.”
Comradezoned: when a girl immediately loses interest in you because you think intersectionality isn’t that important in the class struggle.